What does recovery actually mean? By: Camille Richard
You might be surprised but recovery means more than just healing the disorder by going to therapy and learning to love yourself. Anyway, how are you supposed to do that?
Well...
Recovery is also about self-care and accountability, with yourself and for yourself.
That means having clear boundaries! It might include giving yourself a pep talk, stepping out of your comfort zone, saying no to things or people that trigger you, having a safety plan for when you do get triggered, resting when you feel like it, etc.
Self-care isn’t only about bubble baths and massages, treating yourself to some new shoes and watching netflix for a full day… it usually is more about walking away from toxic situations, reaching out to friends, staying on top of your hygiene game, making sure you go outside every day etc. Self-love is about treating yourself like you’re enough and you deserve the best. Through your actions and your thoughts.
Putting it off is not an option...Because the danger is once you feel better you tell yourself you don’t need to do those things anymore. Things get worse and before you know it you’re back into a relapse. Depression and anxiety is a nasty circle, you lack energy and motivation so you put off daily tasks and avoid having a social life, which isolate you and makes you feel overwhelmed. You worry about everything you have to do and how people perceive you, which, obviously, doesn’t feel great.
The way it appears for me is when I get really stressed my anxiety kicks in and it always gives me nausea. Therefore your instinct is to avoid eating right? Well if you used to restrict that’s a very bad idea. And here’s my point : sometimes you need to do certain things in order to recover even if at the moment it doesn’t feel too good.
A question I usually ask myself to make it clearer is : Does my ED/depression/anxiety wants me to … (ex. exercice, eat less, cancel on my friends, stay in bed, send a hurtful text etc.) If the answer is yes, then I do the opposite because it means that’s what I need the most in the long run.
Here is some tips to stick to your self-care : Make a full list of every single goal you have. Also list your concerns or things you want to overcome, the obstacles you might face and how you're going to face them. Then list your priorities.
Automate : What tasks can you turn into simple routines?
Delegate : Who can support you? You do not need to know and do everything yourself. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help and guidance!
Delete : Erase things in your life that don't serve you or your goals. You can also create a "not now" list (exemple : you might need to take a month off work to concentrate on recovery).
Plan out : Set up reminders and accountability.
Having boundaries might be scary, because it’s implying you are finally telling yourself you are worth it, you are worth more than the lies and bs you accept in your life.
I’ll be honest putting your foot down feels nerve-wracking at first but it feels so good to stand up for yourself. You might lose some people, some might even get angry but you have to realize it isn’t about you but them and their issues. Because when you step up, you are basically asking others to do so as well. To be better and act differently. Some will resist, some are not ready to look at their own old wounds and demons. But you are, it is why you’re here, reading this…
Anyway are we ever ready? We are all afraid and just trying. I say go for it anyway.
Like Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
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